REYNOLDS WRITER: THE RENDA PROJECT

by the family and friends of Renda Kay Reynolds Abercrombie Rhoads, 1955-2020

Randy Reynolds--05-09-2020

Oh, what a sweet human being Renda was. I know of occasions when she arrived uninvited (*with bags of groceries) at the home of a struggling family and told them to relax, she was 'fixing' dinner.

I've heard of Great-aunt Renda kidnapping unhappy children and taking them to her neighborhood pool and hanging out with them for hours.

She turned other people's anxiety to joy so many times just by her observations and comments, often flighty and funny, spoken in a fast southern accent, with herself as the butt of so many jokes. She did some things that made her seem a little spacy (like my Sherry) but she was sharp as a whip, as Papa Appling used to say. OMG, how comforting she was. How sweet. How giving.

The only bone I have to pick with Renda was that she refused to allow granddaughter Audia to wear cowboy boots when she was Paige's flower girl. Sherry and I agree that Paige's wedding was the most beautiful one we've ever seen. Renda poured her heart and soul into making it that way. One little contrast--a flower girl coming down the aisle in the cowboy boots I bought her--would have highlighted the perfection of everything else.

(Okay, full disclosure, I wanted Audia to wear the boots so I could hear Renda tell the story for the rest of her years. Listening to Renda tell a story was one of the great pleasures of my life.)

“There is no death, daughter. People die only when we forget them,' my mother explained shortly before she left me. 'If you can remember me, I will be with you always.” ― Isabel Allende

Randy Reynolds: Once upon a time, not many years ago, when I was hurting for Renda who was so, so sick and fighting her death sentence like a warrior goddess, I thought perhaps I could do little something to lift her spirits. (And mine.) Maybe a “this is your life” collection from her friends and family. I had barely started when other cares intruded so my little project lay abandoned in a drawer until today when I came across it by accident. (Or was I led to it by an entity that wanted to bring it back to life? Sorry; been feeling a little spooked this morning.) While reading these reminiscences, I experienced the feeling that someone was reading over my shoulder. I can’t reveal who that someone was because you would surely think me addle-brained and kooky; (or has that ship already sailed?)

Leah Reynolds Avigdori (Renda's niece): When my aunt Renda comes to mind the first thing I see is a big beautiful smile followed by her contagious laugh. She was the one who suggested my first name of Leah to my parents. So basically she gave me my name and she liked to tell me that.

My very first vivid memory of Aunt Renda was when I was around 3ish and we were visiting Mama Vi and Papa Gene in Gadsden, AL. I remember sitting in the middle of the front seat of the car with Papa Gene, and Aunt Renda was leaving in her car at the same time. As she was pulling out of the driveway all dolled up, Papa Gene was making a motion, wiping his lips, over and over with his hand wanting her to take off her lipstick. Or maybe even all her make up. She just smiled reeeeeaaaal big and blew him kisses and drove off. As she drove away Papa “Naaah’d” and dismissed the situation with his hand, realizing he lost the fight. I thought she looked so pretty and was super cool.

When I was in high school I spent several summers with her in Birmingham. At the time she managed apartment complexes that I thought were really cool. I would babysit, get to hang out at the pool and she let me drive her car! I loved her car. I think it was a gold Nissan Sentra with a sunroof. I remember driving with little Paige, music blaring, sunroof open, windows down and Paige was hanging her head and arms out the windows feeling the wind and music, totally in the moment. Later I think one of Paul’s friends saw me and said I was driving a little too fast.

She also brought me along on summer trips to Panama City, FL. One summer my cousin Kristi came too. She was the hot, super tan blond with crimped hair. During that trip Aunt Renda let us go out dancing one night. But beforehand she went to the place first to check it out and then dropped us off. I mean, how cool is that? I don’t even remember asking. She just wanted us to have fun and found a place for us to go and did so with total trust in my high school level of wisdom. So we danced that night and I had so much fun.

She was always so fashionable. I loved playing in her make up as a little girl, not sure I asked permission, and looking in her make up mirror with all the different light settings. I loved her blond Farrah Faucet winged back hair. As I grew older she represented to me what a successful career women looked like. She was always so fun, generous and loving. She loved her family with all her heart and I know without a shadow of a doubt she is all around us now happy as a clam.

Desiree Waguespack Maestri (Renda’s first Catholic friend): Renda was incredibly kind to me when she sat by me on the school bus, when no CHS kids would even talk to me. She did make me laugh when she asked me if I was a "nun in training?" There was no question that she was afraid to ask, including if I worshipped the Pope, prayed to dead people on beads, etc.

I led a very sheltered life out there around Lee Road and only wish I had known more local children earlier. I guess they all got the "she's okay" from your sister, Renda, because I then made many friends of Harriet Barker, Hazel Maklary, Kathy Barker and others... As soon as your sister told them I was not "in training" to be a nun we realized how similar we were.

She was a rare leader as several of her friends followed her kind example and spoke to me on the bus after she did. Her kindness made all the difference at a major time in my life….

Kim Quinn: She use to carry around a box she stored her makeup in. it was called a caboodle box but she called it her Magic Box.

Once my dad asked her if there was any coffee left in the pot and she poured some coffee on the counter and said “yes” .

Rhonda Barker Smith: Renda and I were about the same age so we were in the same class at Lee Road from 6th-9th. I remember her telling me one time that if you drank Dr. Pepper it would make your boobs big. Well all I can say is it worked!! She taught me that paper dolls could sleep in the same bed...horrified when I heard that. I knew we were going straight to hell for putting Connie Francis and the doll cut from the Sears catalogue in the same bed! Renda was always laughing. That's the thing I remember most. Love that girl!!!

Ronda Reynolds: We were just sitting around the table talking when I got your message. The kids had a few things to say about Aunt Renda....like they loved going to her house because she always had a drawer full of candy (which of course they didn't have at home) plus she had cable and they could stay up as late as they wanted and watch movies.

The big one they remember from her was the meaning and "power" of the SBD.

She came and lived with me one summer in St. Augustine and was the recreational director at the campground where I worked. Her uniform was a bathing suit so she was definitely very popular. I'm going to try to send a photo that was taken the following summer when she came to visit after Keefe was born.

I suppose we all remember the night Paige was born. We were having a big family reunion in Gadsden and she went into labor and I drove to Birmingham and hung out for the evening. She had a long hard labor. The next day I was bragging on her and telling her how great she did and she said "I did? I thought I was dying!" Then of course there was the visit from Bob and Katrina the next day where she asked Katrina if she would be able to ever have a bowel movement again (or something similar) that sent them both into hysterics and a story they would repeat the rest of their lives.

She always worked so hard, since she was like 15 and went to work at Masons Dept store and has never stopped or had a break since then, her bosses always loved her because she was so loyal and worked so hard. I was trying to remember what she was always saying about "kicking ass and taking names" or something like that, Paige will remember how it went.

As young kids the girls loved for me to come home and bring clothes and shoes, but as adults, it was Renda's closet that we all loved cleaning out.

Awesome sweet fun funny beautiful sister.

One of my sweetest dreamiest christmas's was Renda and Paige coming to my house (Paige was working in atlanta) and Carson and his girlfriend Amber were here. My other kids didn't come home for Christmas. Carson and Amber cooked a gourmet candlelight dinner and we woke up the next morning to a thick layer of snow covering a seemingly peaceful beautiful world and an awesome Christmas breakfast and just hung out in our jammies. It was so nice and we are always talking about how magical it was.

Mur Rodrigue: I was only in First Grade when the Reynolds family left our little community. I know this because, Renda, Ronda, and Renee came to school and got me out of Mrs. Sturgeon's First Grade Class to tell me bye. I remember being very sad. As if my sisters were moving away. I didn't even know they were moving. Too young for grown up talk. A few years later we went for a visit.

I thought Renda was soooo cool. I remember thinking, Wow, she is a preacher's kid! Not dowdy and plain like some I knew. She was a preacher's kid but no one had sent her the "Memo". She was loud, irreverent, gorgeous hair and makeup, confident and listened to the best rock n roll music ever. Everything I wanted to be!

I remember when we were visiting, she had just gotten a "45", the song, "I've got a brand new pair of roller skates, you've got a brand new key"! I wasn't allowed to listen to that because,... well, you know what that meant! Hmmmm, I'm still not sure I know what that meant! But, I must have listened to it about 50 times that weekend, and couldn't wait to get a pair of roller skates! Never happened! She also had that great raspy "Gene Reynolds" voice. Very sexy! I just had a flat country voice.

What I'm trying to say is... Renda is a bigger than life sort of person whom I have loved and wanted to be like all my life! And if I ever grow up, I want to be just like Renda! Love her more than she will ever know! Randy, please give her a great big hug for me and let her know that I am praying for her! And, that I'm big enough to buy my own damn pair of Roller Skates! Of course, I'm now over 50 and would probably break a hip.

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“Anything with the power to make you laugh over thirty years later isn’t a waste of time. I think something like that is very close to immortality.”
― Stephen King

“We all shine on...like the moon and the stars and the sun...we all shine on...come on and on and on...” ― John Lennon